Who knew Sleater Kinney was any good?

Disclaimer: If you had no idea before that I'm way too in to Pearl Jam, it'll soon be clear as day.

Apparently a lot of people do, and once again I'm late to the party.

I first became aware of this band in early 2003 when Pearl Jam announced they'd be touring together. I saw Pearl Jam four times that year and not once did I catch a Sleater Kinney set. It was probably for the best, My 17 year old self would have hated them. My exposure came when Corin Tucker started appearing with Pearl Jam for their encores, singing duets with Eddie Vedder.

I promise I'll never do that to you again.

I'll admit now that I was never being entirely fair to Sleater Kinney. I mean, this cover is awful, but it's not their fault. Pearl Jam played Fortunate Son a number of times on this tour and it never sounded good, no matter who was playing it with them. But with that said, Corin Tucker sounds like Mike McCready taking a shit on a cat, leaving me soured forever at the prospect of listening to her music.

But then came the 2006 Pearl Jam tour came around and Eddie Vedder started tagging a few lines from Sleater Kinney's Modern Girl onto the end of Not For You. It was subtle, haunting, and beautiful way to end the song. I soon found myself repeating those lines over and over. My whole life: like a picture on a sunny day.

The last time Not For You wasn't embarrassing.

Needless to say I was shocked when I found out that line was from a song by that same band with that same singer with that same insufferable voice. So I flat out refused to listen to the original. I mean, why ruin a good thing?

But I should have known better. In 2000 I saw Pearl Jam for the first time and opening on that tour was Sonic Youth. I caught their set, which apparently was hindered by technical difficulties, and it sounded like shit. Not to mention Sonic Youth, despite their brilliance, is a hugely acquired taste and I was some 15 year old tool at a Pearl Jam concert, so for years I just assumed they sucked. But I was wrong, and I should have learned my lesson.

Flash forward to today: A friend whose musical opinion I trust (he's the same guy I can talk to The Ting Tings about, so how could he be wrong?) assured me that the Sleater Kinney's Modern Girl is actually quite good. I was skeptical, but I decided to listen anyway.

I'm so stupid.

Ok, so this is pretty good. Actually, it's really good. But I've heard enough about these guys to know that they're generally not this mellow. The shrieking cat will come back, and I'm not sure if that's what I want. But I talked myself into it anyway. Hey, I used to hate the wall of distortion that's 90% of Sonic Youth's material but now I'd probably punch someone for talking shit about The Diamond Sea.

So I got a copy of their last record, The Woods, and threw it on while indulging in some sensory enhancements. And once again, I've proven myself to be a stubborn fool over the years. This record scratched me right where I itch. Powerful lyrics with poignant melodies awash in a wall of distortion that's only crude on the surface.

Listen to this song!

So will I learn anything from this experience? Probably not. I'll spend the next few weeks diving into Sleater Kinney's catalog and instantly increase my hipster credibility, all while maintaining my stubborn habit of making sweeping generalizations from small samples of music only to be proven wrong years later. But that's the great thing about music. It doesn't matter how long it takes you to find it, it'll still be brand new.

Guilty

There are about half a dozen people in my life who have for the last few months been trying to get me to read The Hunger Games. I was even given a deadline: I had to read the first book before the release of the movie.

But I have taken a passive resistance to this book, making no effort to get my hands on a copy. Friends and family have offered me theirs, but it was always "after so-and-so is done with it". Well, I came home yesterday and there was a package on my door from Amazon.com. I didn't order it myself, I swear. It's just that you can never underestimate the resolve of my friends.

Don't make fun!

So I'm nearly 200 pages in and I must admit that I'm enjoying the read. It's juvenile, even more so than Harry Potter, but it's a page turner and I'll certainly finish it and see the movie and all that bullshit.

I've been accused on more than one occasion of falling prey to celebrating mediocrity. It's probably true, my favorite band is Pearl Jam. But it's got me thinking, what if I get suckered into this series? What if I buy into the hype, read all the books at once, stand in line for the next one? It's happened before, it can happen again. It can happen at any moment. My history with this sort of thing runs deep.

When I was in high school my sister, older sister that is, became obsessed with Harry Potter. We often shared books and recommendations, but I flat out refused to take part in this. I was in high school, she had already graduated college, and this was Harry Potter ferchristsake. After months of pestering she made a deal with me: All I had to do was read the first few chapters of the first book and she'd never bother me about it again. I was all caught up in the series by the end of the month. Since thin I've waited in line at midnight releases, seen movies in iMax, and even argued about the strength of the Elderwand. Did I mention I'm available, ladies?

I swear I don't know these people.

Does it get worse? Maybe, but it certainly doesn't get better. A couple of years ago I bought an old Marantz stereo receiver and a turntable and became a vinyl nerd. I'm not ashamed of that, not by a long shot. But not every LP I have is worth bragging about. Sure, I have plenty of wax that can give me hipster cred...but then...there's this:

That's not my name!

Yeah, I own a Ting Tings record. And occasionally I listen to it. I know one other (male) friend that has this guilty pleasure (he's straight) and he's the only one in the world I'd ever talk to about this record. That's right, I've had actual conversations about the merits of the Ting Tings deeper cuts.

And then, there was the Law & Order obsession of the late aughts.

Angie Harmon can prosecute me any time she wants.

Let's get one thing clear. There's only one Law & Order. My step-sister tried to turn me on to SVU, but I can only watch a young girl get raped so many times before I want to throw up. The original is the only one that matters in this series. Fuck SVU, fuck Criminal Intent, and definitely fuck the new UK. I used to work overnights on Friday and Saturday nights. Which mean I was home just in time for the TNT weekend Law & Order marathons. My roommates knew very well not to bother me when I was watching my stories.

Most recently, it's been How I Met Your Mother. I'm addicted, it's ridiculous. I watched the entire series up to the current season on NetFlix, and now you can find me dutifully in front of a TV every Monday at 8 to find out what the fuck is going to happen with these terrible people. I wanted Ted to be with Robin. Then I realized it was stupid. Then I wanted Barney to be with Robin. Then I realized that whore doesn't deserve him. Slap bets, Cockamouse, Ducky Ties; this show has given me so much, including shame.

Ask me how I feel about Robin Schabowski. I dare you!

But now, I'm on The Hunger Games. I can already tell it doesn't hold a candle to any of my previous guilty obsessions. But I'm still reading, and so far I can't put it down. I might be fucked.

2016: Scott Brown

Last night, Scott Brown was a guest of CNN's Piers Morgan. I can't stand Piers Morgan, it's ridiculous that he fills the time slot formerly occupied by Larry King. But with Senator Brown on the show last night, I bit the bullet and watched it.

I remember meeting Scott Brown when he was running for Senator in the Massachusetts special election to fill the seat vacated by the late Ted Kennedy. He was a guest on a radio talk show I was producing on the night of a debate amongst Democrats vying for that seat. It was a foregone conclusion that the Democratic primary was the real race, and Brown was just waiting to see who he would lose to. This is Massachusetts, after all.

Brown was early for the show that night, and shot the breeze with me in the control room for a few minutes before the host arrived. My initial impressions were that he was as smooth as a car salesman, but came off as a lot more trustworthy. I'm not saying I trusted him, or any politician, but I could definitely see why people did.

I remember posting on Facebook that night: "What if Scott Brown wins?". My starkly Democratic family and friends thought it was hilarious. How could a Republican win Teddy Kennedy's seat?

And that was the fatal flaw in the Democrats' mindset in this state. It was a foregone conclusion that the seat was their's. The race was a formality, the swearing in would be a coronation.

But Brown managed to tap into the deep frustrations of everyday people here in Massachusetts. Sure, we've historically been a near exclusively Democratic state, but to everyday people the boy's club of local politicians was nothing but a cesspool of corruption and arrogance.

Brown's challenger that year was Attorney General Martha Coakley. Brown went to Dunkin' Donuts all across the state in his truck, and talked to people as they drank their morning coffees before heading to work. Coakley refused to go outside and shake anyone's hand. It showed the attitude of the party, that they were entitled to this seat, and there was no way a Republican could win in Massachusetts. Martha Coakley, and the party as a whole, felt like they didn't even have to run. So why should they?

But Brown did win. And he won on a platform of doing what's right for the state and the country, ignoring party lines and labels. I don't know how much of that is complete bullshit, but it's an image he's retained as he finished out Ted Kennedy's term. The Democrats swear that they won't repeat their failures of the last election, but all the polls show Senator Brown retaining the support network he's already built.

Piers Morgan last night asked Senator Brown if he would be running for President in future contests. Brown didn't say no, but simply reiterated that right now he's running for President and directed supporters to his website. Morgan asked brown all sorts of questions, but Brown would only talk about the economy, jobs, and the national debt. He wasn't avoiding other issues, but merely said that the economic woes of this country or of historic proportions, and that everything else is a peripheral distraction. I'm paraphrasing, but that was the gist of it.

He was not shy about his support for Mitt Romney, saying the likability and resonance of social issues surrounding the Rick Santorum campaign don't matter. He kept reiterating that the most trying issue of our day is the fiscal mess we are in, and we don't need a President he who has charm and gravitas, but rather someone who can balance the books. Piers Morgan kept trying to steer the conversation to all the peripheral issues, but Senator Brown wouldn't bite.

Scott Brown's a politician, so by default I think he's a lying, backstabbing piece of shit. But he's got support, and he's got the image. And he's got the voting record. He reminded us a number of times last night that he sponsored the bill that will ban insider trading among members of Congress. That's a damned good idea, I just wonder why it took a 60 Minutes piece to get anyone to do anything about it.

Will this guy get me to change my idea about voting in time for the 2016 race? I doubt it. Will he run? I think so. Will he win? I have no idea. But if he does, I hope he proves me wrong about my blanket statements regarding people in Washington. But I won't hold my breath.

Ramblings of a Non-Voter

2012 will be the first Presidential election I will not participate in since becoming eligible to vote in this country. It's not a decision I've come to lightly, and though I'm not ashamed of it, it's not something I'm proud of either.

I was raised on politics. Some of my earliest memories are from my parents working on local campaigns for city councilors. I remember the sign holding, door knocking, and signature gathering that comes with the daily grind of a grass-roots political effort. I watched as my mom was recognized for her work for the Democratic party, and become a delegate to the state wide conventions. I remember being excited when my state instituted a "Kids Vote" program that had special ballots on election day for the kids to fill out. And I remember how proud I was when I cast my first ballot for the real thing.

I was a junior in high school on 9/11. I was a senior when the Iraq war started. I spent my late teens and early twenties angry at the federal government and the Bush administration. I listened in horror as the drums of war resonated and the masses marched in line. I was angry and ready to make Bush a one term president.

If I was eligible to vote in 2000 I would have voted for Ralph Nader. Even in my teens I was fed up with two party politics, and a vote for Nader would have been my small way of registering that anger. John Kerry failed to excite me in 2004, but I wanted to see him win so badly just to get Bush out of office. But the Electoral College rendered my vote worthless in my state, so I was able to hope for a Kerry win while voting for whatever third party candidate happened to be on the ballot that year (that's right, I don't even remember who it was). It was my first Presidential election, and I was proud to participate in the process while simultaneously disappointed at how worthless my vote was.

But Bush won, and the world fell apart, and by 2008 the country was ready for something different. Or so they said. No one was able to capitalize on that feeling more than Barack Obama. I didn't vote for him. In 2008 I was finally able to cast a vote for Nader, and because once again my vote was worthless, I did.

2008 was the first election cycle that I worked for a news organization. I remember being in the newsroom as election results rolled in, and even though I didn't vote for him, I remember how great it felt when the McCain/Palin ticket lost. I talked on the phone that night to a friend in Australia, and I remember saying how great it felt to have a President that I could actually respect.

But despite the rhetoric there was no change. It's been business as usual ever since, and now we're in the midst of the 2012 campaign season. I'm tired of it. I'm tired of the players and I'm tired of the game. I went into the last two elections knowing my vote was worthless, but I cast a ballot anyway. I had hope for the Democrats in 2008, but they proved what I should have known all along: They're politicians and don't really care about any of us.

So until there are some drastic changes I'm not going to participate. First, I'd like to see the Electoral College gone. I live in a state that will go blue every cycle, so what's the point? Beyond that, Washington needs to change how it works. The entire political process is designed to maintain the status quo of corruption. You can't run a campaign without an obscene amount of money, and therefor corporate influence, and you can't pass a law without obscene corporate lobbyists. Everyone in office is too busy worried about staying in office that they don't care about the country. It's all about beating your opponents and paying tribute to your corporate backers, country be damned. So I refuse to participate. I refuse to lend more legitimacy to a corrupt process by casting a ballot and boosting the turnout rate. How can democracy be legitimate if people won't vote? It's the only option I have left.